Search Results for: health

Flu Jokes... It’s the cold and flu time of year! Or as I like to call it, Vitamin C-son. Flu Season is upon us and that means sickness, shots, and medical masks galore. The exact time frame of 'flu season' varies but we are in the thick of it now! The CDC, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, states, "The exact timing and duration of flu seasons can vary, but influenza activity often begins to increase in October. Most of the time flu activity peaks between December and February." Let's get to some flu jokes! Whether you choose to get the flu shot or try your luck with your immune system, these jokes about the ever-dreaded flu are sure to make you chuckle! cold-and-flu-season - Public Domain Pictures Doubting The Doc's Opinion The doctor tells the patient he has very bad flu. The patient says he wants a second opinion. The doctor says, ”OK, you’re ugly too”. What’s the difference between swine flu and bird flu? Swine Flu requires Oinkment and Bird Flu requires Tweetment. Bird Flu hits Florida - Flickr Jim had been out for a few days with the flu. Finally back at work, he ran into a friend of his who asked, "Jim, how are you feeling?" "I'm better, thanks. You know, it was a wonderful experience," Jim replied. "Wonderful? How can the flu be wonderful?" "Well, I learned that my wife really loves me. You know, whenever the mailman came by or a delivery man headed towards the door, my wife ran out to meet them! I could hear her excitedly saying 'My husband is home! My husband is home!'" A Doctor's Flawless Handwriting! The patient went to his doctor because he had flu, and the doctor wrote out a prescription for him in his usual illegible writing. The patient put it in his pocket, but forgot to get the tablets from the pharmacy. Every morning, for two years, he showed it to the conductor as a railroad pass. Twice, it got him into the movies, once into the soccer stadium, and once into the symphony. He got a raise at work by showing it as a note from his boss. One day he mislaid it. His daughter picked it up, played it on the piano and won a scholarship to the conservatory of music. Thanks to Amo Mama for some of these great flu jokes like the one above! Doctor's Scribbles - Facebook I can never remember the proper word for the medication... A man walks into the pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, ”Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?” “Do you mean aspirin?” says the pharmacist. “That’s it, I can never remember that word.” Some Famous Quotes & Jokes about being sick! “My dear doctor, I’m surprised to hear you say that I am coughing very badly, because I have been practicing all night.” (John Philpot Curran) “A doctor is the only man without a guaranteed cure for the cold”. (Dominic Cleary) “If a doctor treats your cold, it will go away in fourteen days. If you leave it alone, it will go away in two weeks." (Gloria Silverstein) “The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature affects the cure.” (Voltaire) Check out the CDC website for more information about the flu and how to stay healthy through the season. Or, check out what this 94-year-old doctor says about his secret to staying healthy! 94-Year-Old Doctor Shares His Recipe For Staying Healthy This Flu Season

Ten Jokes To Help You Laugh Through Flu Season

Judy Garland’s Daughter, Lorna Luft, Says Mom Would’ve Lived Longer Without Drug Addiction Stigma

Actress Judy Garland’s Net Worth At The Time Of Her Death

CVS, Walgreens, Rite Aid Suspend Sales Of Zantac Following Cancer-Causing Concerns

You Can Send Former President Jimmy Carter A Birthday Message As He Turns 95 Years Old

Olivia Newton-John Puts On Iconic ‘Grease’ Costume And Talks About Cancer Diagnosis

UPDATE: Dog The Bounty Hunter Diagnosed With Pulmonary Embolism

Duane ‘Dog’ Chapman Reflects On Hearing Doctors Say Beth “Wasn’t Going To Pull Out Of This”

Couple Alleges Their Adopted Daughter Tried To Kill Them

New Details Reveal Judy Garland’s Troubled Life Left Her Totally “Fragile”

Robin Williams Used His Films To Give Homeless People Jobs

Former U.S. President Jimmy Carter Thinks There Should Be An Age Limit On Presidency