30 Nostalgic 1-900 Numbers From The ’80s

4. Santa Christmas Stories

I’m not sure if this is really Santa. For starters, there’s the ominous phone number with just a few too many 6’s. Also, I thought Santa gave out fun toys, not “whuppies,” which appear to be nothing more than cotton balls with googly eyes. Just to be safe, you might want to board your chimney shut this year.

5. The Freak Phone

The Freak Phone was an enigma. We say that because this commercial offers precious little information to go on besides a phone number and 30 seconds of a dancing doll. Thankfully, for only $2, the beloved (and apparently trademarked) character “Freddy Freaker” will explain exactly where you just flushed your money.

6. The Crying Hotline

The weirdest of them all. A number you can call that will make you cry? “What makes people all over America break down and cry like this?” For $2/minute you can find out. Probably you look at your phone bill after calling this. People all over America break down and cry like this because they just realized they’re never getting their $2 back.