30 Nostalgic 1-900 Numbers From The '80s

Ah, a time when shoulderpads were big, ties were skinny, and it was $2 for the first minute, $1.95 for the following 1-900 numbers weren't just for sex lines and psychics (thought they were probably mostly used for that). They were a way of transmitting information for money in a pre-Internet world for things like jokes, music, games, and fan club information. Sadly, after testing them out, some of these numbers are no longer in service. But the memory is still in service! 1. Corey Haim and Corey Feldman's fan hotline: This is the rarest of 900-numbers: the middleman. The Two Coreys hotline was created solely for the purpose of distributing Corey Feldman and Haim's "personal numbers." Fans could look forward to "rapping" with the young stars, or, more likely, their unpaid interns. 2. Be A Star In what may be the most 80's commercial of all time, "Be A Star" gave kids the chance to call in and showcase their talent for prizes. By badgering all her friends to vote for her, the girl in this ad won "a part in a national commercial." Unfortunately for hember of 1-900 numbers back in the 80's were marketed directly to children. With this one, kids were being treated to an adventure story told by He-Man... plus informational tips on how to purchase action figures. See? Michael Bay isn't the only one who can trick you into paying to sit through a commercial. 3. Jazzy Jeff & Will Smith's New Rap Hotline International superstar DJ Jazzy Jeff enlisted the help of some guy named Will Smith to pitch this rap hotline, where callers can listen to the latest hip hop tracks. Hey, you know what else could play you the latest hip hop tracks? A radio. 4. Santa Christmas Stories I'm not sure if this is really Santa. For starters, there's the ominous phone number with just a few too many 6's. Also, I thought Santa gave out fun toys, not "whuppies," which appear to be nothing more than cotton balls with googly eyes. Just to be safe, you might want to board your chimney shut this year. 5. The Freak Phone The Freak Phone was an enigma. We say that because this commercial offers precious little information to go on besides a phone number and 30 seconds of a dancing doll. Thankfully, for only $2, the beloved (and apparently trademarked) character "Freddy Freaker" will explain exactly where you just flushed your money. 6. The Crying Hotline The weirdest of them all. A number you can call that will make you cry? "What makes people all over America break down and cry like this?" For $2/minute you can find out. Probably you look at your phone bill after calling this. People all over America break down and cry like this because they just realized they're never getting their $2 back. 7. Grandpa Al Lewis from "The Munsters" fan hotline For decades after The Munsters was canceled in 1966, Al Lewis continued to milk his Grandpa Munster character for all it was worth. Of course, he had no actual rights to the character, which is why he instead calls himself "Grandpo" in this commercial. Go ahead and let your kids call in. They should learn about the dangers of copyright infringement. 8. The Warrant Rockline The glam metal band Warrant produced this incredibly creepy ad full of double-entendres alluding to all of their adult exploits. Warrant was apparently happy to share these dirty stories with any children who might call, so long as they get their parents' permission. Good to know they had standards. At one point, there were so many Warrant fans that they had a pay phone line. Now the singer is dead :( 9. Paula Abdul's line: Straight up now tell me, do you really want to pay $0.99/minute? 10. Hulk Hogan's fan line Back before you could listen to him complain about having sex on a full stomach in his sex tape, you could pay to listen to him tell you cool Hulk things. According to a factoid flagged "citation needed" on Wikipedia, the Hulkster's line was the most profitable 900 number from 1991-1993 on AT&T. Oh, brother. 11. Jessica Hahn's secret-revealing hotline Jessica Hahn was involved in a sex scandal with televangelist Reverend Jim Bakker that was one of the biggest tabloid stories in 1987. She claimed it was nonconsensual, he admitted to cheating on his wife, Tammy Faye, but that it was consensual. Her ad promises to tell you the "real story" of her encounter. 12. Tiffany's Fan1-900 Hotline Tiffany's fan hotline. Best line in the ad is when Tiffany manipulatively says, "you're my friend, so call me." 13. A phone lottery game The premise of this 900 number was that if you were the lucky caller, you could win prize money. Basically, like a phone lottery ticket. 14. WWF Hotline This number would give marks insider info on Wrestlemania. It's been replaced by something called a blog. 15. New Kids on the Block fan hotline: Probably the greatest fan hotline of all time. The best part of this ad is when Joey McIntyre pretends to be talking on the phone in an over-the-top pantomime. 16. The Spin Magazine playlist You could call up this number and pay to listen over the phone to a playlist of the music reviewed in that month's issue. Via books.google.com 17. The Winston Cup Hotline I hear that NASCAR is exciting, but you'd never know by listening to Dale Earnhardt's awkward, stilted endorsement for this Winston Cup hotline. Callers could dial in to hear post-race stories directly from the drivers who, by Earnhardt's own admission, are tired. Wow, this guy can really sell it. 18. Santa's Hip Hop Holiday It's another Santa number, but this time even weirder, as now Santa will rap to you for some reason. And, while you may have mixed feelings about Santa Claus advertising directly to impressionable children, I think we can all agree that rhyming the words "listen" and "permission" is inexcusable under any circumstance. For shame, Santa. This time Santa's rapping. 19. Video Game hints Video game hints were a huge market for 1-900 numbers. Nintendo, Konami, Sega, and all the popular video game makers of the '80s had paid tip lines. 20. A "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey" game It's unclear exactly what this game was, but it seems to be a trivia game where you could win prizes for correct answers. A truly bizarre movie marketing tie-in. billandted.org 21. Kiss's hotline Yes, Kiss had a 1900 number to make some money. This one isn't surprising, since we all know Kiss will do anything for money. 22. The Freddy Krueger Hotline For just a few bucks, callers could hear an incredibly drawn-out scary story narrated by Freddy Krueger. For an even scarier story, kids could look forward to what their parents have to say when they receive the phone bill. 23. Let's Make A Deal Hotline At the start of this spot, Monty Hall asks, "remember all the fun we had playing Let's Make a Deal on TV?" Well, try to forget it, because what he was hocking here was nothing more than a quick cash grab aimed toward gambling addicts. A class action lawsuit was eventually filed against this service. From what we hear, the lawyers got all the money, while the claimants received zonks. 24. Dial-An-Insult "Are you having a bad day? It's about to get worse." Yes, Dial-An-Insult targeted that lucrative crowd that wants to be assured they'll regret their purchases before they even make them. 25. MC Hammer Hotline Back in the 90's, people didn't care about things like production value, which is why MC Hammer and 2 Bigg MC were allowed to record television commercials inside a guest bathroom. They boast that fans "might hear a joke, r a couple of rhymes." They don't, however, mention if fans will live to regret carving Hammer's initials into their hair for school picture day. If only he got more calls, he might not have gone broke! 26. Santa's hotline Like the He-Man hotline, this was very clearly targeted at small children. They called it "Santa's special phone," where kids could tell Santa their toy wishlist and get a special message from Santa. 27. G.L.O.W. (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling)'s hotline Keep up with your favorite female wrestlers. 28. Creep Phone With the creep phone, you can even leave your own scary message recording that will be played for others. Crowdsourcing your creeps. 29. Jose Canseco's hotline According to a 1990 article in the L.A. Times, Jose had his own 1-900 line, hosted by the same company, Audio Communications, Inc, which hosted many of the other celebrity fan lines. A clip of the ad exists within an old sports news show - at the 0:54 mark of this video you can see the ad where Jose promises, "if you want to know if I do steroids, how fast I drive, or why I was carrying that gun, call 1-900-234-JOSE." 30. U.F.O. hotline For information about U.F.O.s, "we warn you – this may be the most shocking phone call you'll ever make!" (Sources: Buzzfeed and GUFF) What 1-900 hotlines do you remember? And which did you call? Share in the comment section below. And if you LIKE this story, please SHARE this story!