Paul Reubens, the man behind the playful Pee-wee Herman, spent over 40 hours in 2023 recording honest interviews for a new HBO documentary. He wanted to share his life in a way that the public had never seen before, to offer clarity on misunderstood parts of his past, and to share pieces of himself that had always stayed hidden.
What no one knew at the time was that Reubens had been quietly battling lung cancer for six years. He kept his illness private but did not let it stop him from being involved in the documentary. He even scheduled a final interview to wrap things up, but passed away just one week before it could happen. Still, he left behind a final voice recording on July 29, 2023, the day before he died.
Paul Reubens wanted the world to see the real him
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For Paul, the documentary was not just about revisiting his career; it was a chance to speak openly after years of silence. “I want to set the record straight,” he said in his final audio message. With a shaky voice, he explained that love had always been at the center of his work and that the labels placed on him during his life were painful and untrue.
The documentary Pee-wee as Himself reveals how Reubens carefully built Pee-wee Herman, drawing from scattered childhood memories and moments. He also spoke about his early days at CalArts, where he explored performance art and what it meant to have a public persona. He even shared, for the first time, that he had hidden his sexuality for much of his life, fearing how it might affect his career. “I went back in the closet,” he said, explaining the emotional cost of that choice.
Paul Reubens faced challenges with strength despite the struggles
Despite the joy Pee-wee brought audiences, Reubens’s real life was far more complex. In 1991, he was arrested in an adult theater, and in 2002, police seized a collection of vintage art from his home, some of which was wrongly labeled as child pornography. He denied the accusation and later accepted a lesser charge, but the damage to his name lingered for years.
Even so, Reubens remained focused on the work he loved. Director Matt Wolf, who spent months interviewing him, described him as thoughtful, private, and determined to be understood. “He had an enormous impact,” Wolf said. Through all the noise, Reubens held on to one thing: pride in Pee-wee. “It would be pure in every way,” he said. And that’s exactly how he wanted to be remembered.