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Stories

These Are the Cafeteria Lunches We Ate In Our Youth

by Zack Walkter

6 years ago

No disagreeing — these are the best of the best.

1. America!

This lunch represents America so well that it should replace our national flag. We can fly it proudly on the Fourth of July while we eat Combos and thank God that our school lunches are American and don’t look like these.

2. A Balanced Meal

This meal represents the five main food groups crucial for a healthy lifestyle:

1. Teddy Grahams

2. any beverage other than water

3. food substances in plastic cups

4. deep fried shapes

5. white stuff you eat with a spoon

3. Completely Disgusting

Gross! Get that apple the hell out of there! You’re gonna make us hurl!

4. Puddin’ Time

Not gonna lie here: If it were socially acceptable and I was assured that I would not be judged by my peers, I would eat the crap out of that chocolate pudding. I mean, look at that thing…it’s perfect! I’m not even a pudding fan and I want some right damn now.

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