Odd Vintage Appliances That Need To Make A Comeback

In science fiction, it’s always the future that’s being portrayed as having all the cool new shiny gadgets: flying cars, robot butlers, one-pill meals – hey, you call this a steak? If the writers are right the future is going to be a place full of fun new toys to help make our days easier. But it could be argued we don’t

need to look to the future for anything; we actually need to peer into the past for inspiration on ways to make life simpler today with some handy vintage appliances.

After all, people really knew what was going on back then – stoves that pulled out of the wall, booze in TVs, using kerosene to melt snow…the days of yesteryear were a paradise. So, today we’re going to be looking at several vintage appliances that definitely need to make a comeback. Do you still have any? Let’s get humming!

The first item on our list is the Frigidaire Flair, the futuristic oven that is just as cool as its name implies. With two ovens that sat at counter height, no more back-crunching bins to cook a casserole. Undoubtedly, this oven’s coolest feature was four stove burners that pulled out like a cabinet and could be hidden away when not in use.

Both functional and easy on the eye, the Flair featured prominently in the classic ’60s show Bewitched, used to varying degrees of success by the titular witch Samantha, because I suppose every woman back then was expected to sleep over the oven because cooking is a woman’s work, even one with magical powers who might be able to make a meal just appear with the snap of her fingers. But witches

shouldn’t have all the fun so I say we all need more flare in our lives.

What’s the most annoying household chore? I’ll suggest taking out the trash, because while not that time-consuming it’s both very stinky and outside, which is, like, so far away right now. Plus it’s hot and muggy and bugs are gross. But starting in the early ’70s, Americans could live the high life as the first trash compactors designed for household kitchens came on the market. Fortunately, this vintage appliance still enjoys a lot of deserved appreication today.

So, what’s a trash compactor you ask? Exactly what it sounds like: an appliance that used over 2,000 lb of force to compress trash up to four times smaller than it would originally be! Well, that’s pretty sweet and while trash compactors for modern kitchens still exist, they are not nearly as prevalent today probably, due to the spread of recycling and composting but honestly, who wouldn’t want to take the

trash out four times less than they used to?

All right, I’ll just say it: fridges used to be so much cooler than they are today, and I’ll submit my example. The 1956 frigid ice box – a whole compartment for butter, not in its packets like we have today but loose and free, so we just have to open and swipe our knives. There’s also a hydrator in the door to keep fruits and veggies fresh that folds out so you can easily see what you have and can be detached and carried over to the sink for easy filling after washing fresh groceries.

seems more labor-intensive than our modern system, but hey, might be fun the first time. If anyone knows where to find one please let me know!

We’ve all been there sitting on the interstate 4 hours already, when suddenly traffic crawls to a

standstill. There we are, bored, annoyed – and most of all so, so thirsty. If only we could reach out and pour some ice-cold beer from the tap on our dashboard, then all our problems would be solved. At least, that’s what the almost assuredly fictional Bach Auto beer company was trying to sell with a print ad from way back in the day, purporting to install a bar just the same way you could use a radio.

Bach promised no more parched throats from dusty roads, something I could definitely get behind, and yeah I’m also behind the wheel but it’s a cool Bach said so, and while the ad was almost certainly

a joke better safe than sorry and reaffirm: never drink and drive.

Speaking of bars that hide in other things, anyone who owned a TV pre-1980 remembers how massive they used to be. Because of all the tubes and magic they had to contain, people often turn their TV into a usable piece of furniture, complete with a radio, record player or any number of convenient devices.

But it was the Admiral tele-bar that really reached the pinnacle of what a console TV could be, because not only did it have a stereo, but if you opened every cabinet you would find a whole wet bar inside, complete with space for liquor and glassware.

Back in the ’40s, the Thor automatic washer was the bees knees of the clothes-washing world. Advertisements bragged about agitator action and overflow rinsing and the public ate it up. But being the best washer of its time wouldn’t be enough to make this list,  so let me introduce you to the Thor automatic dishwashing unit that fit perfectly into the machine and allowed you to wash all your dirty

dishes with the same. This is one vintage appliance that was way ahead of its time.

I mean, who hasn’t when faced with the existential dilemma of a broken washing machine taking a long look at that dishwasher and thinking, “I mean they do basically the same thing.” Now someone definitely needs to re-engineer this for modern times.

Let’s face it, no one likes to shovel snow, and depending on where you live, it’s a 2 to 5 months chore that is cold, wet, back-breaking and something best foisted off onto the neighborhood kids. But people back in the day solved their problems in the coolest possible way and if you had one of these vintage appliances you’d never have to shovel snow again!

No, I’m not talking about some dumb snow blower – I’m talking of course about the Hobi flame gun! It works like a handheld flamethrower that blasted fire onto that pesky snow until it went the way of Frosty in a greenhouse. A vintage ad for the flame gun reads, “Less than 2 pints of kerosene gives over 30 minutes of continuous use,” which is an absolutely terrifying statement, especially when the next sentence is “completely safe.” I’m not so sure but I definitely need one next Christmas anyway.

The next entry on this list is the electric can opener – and before you can complain that cans only take, like, 6 seconds to open manually, let me introduce you to the granddaddy of them all: Ronson’s brand new, can-do, the kitchen magician. In addition to opening cans with zero human effort, I love no effort.

item that would meet all of those Ronson Swiss army knife capabilities?

Have you ever looked at your fridge and wished you could just do more with it? All this big box does is keep my food cold. Well, enter the fridge hybrid, a half-sized refrigerator topped with three gas burners and a sink so you can cook, clean, reach for ingredients, and store leftovers without ever taking a step!

Why let this vintage appliance stay a thing of the past? Just think about how awesome this would be in a

modern dorm room or a tiny studio apartment in New York City! I’m just saying, whoever brings this back is going to make a killing.

Finally the electric knife, that vintage mainstay of Thanksgiving afternoons slicing a turkey with ease while making Uncle Tim only kind of look like a goober. It’s one of the simplest of our favorite vintage appliances – or gadgets really – but one of the most helpful.

The electric knife needs to make a comeback because, well, they were really cool. It’s all in the name, baby: electric knife, ooh just saying it makes you feel more alive, able to slice through anything – but mostly meat – with all the ease of a surgeon! Plus, I’m just tired of turkeys getting absolutely butchered by

people who don’t know how to use a real knife. Just plug this baby in and the rest is history.

There you have them: several awesome vintage appliances that absolutely have to make a comeback. How many did your family have when you were a kid? Did we forget an awesome gadget from the ’60s or ’70s? Get in the comments and let us know!