12+ Candies You’ll Probably Never Eat Again

Such “Sweet” Memories

With the arrival of June comes the beginning of National Candy Month, a 30-day ode to the sweet, tart, and sometimes salty corner store concoctions that have been the frequent source of failed diets everywhere. There are two ways to celebrate: by overindulging in your favorite candies of today and/or by remembering the (for) now-discontinued treats of your past.

1. BAR NONE

Introduced in 1986, Bar None was Hershey’s original foray into the gourmet chocolate bar market before a gourmet chocolate bar market actually existed. Combining the best ingredients of the most popular bars of the time, its original incarnation featured a chocolate-covered cocoa wafer filled with (yet more) chocolate and peanuts in an attempt—as the slogan went—to “tame the chocolate beasty.” Whatever that means. In 1992, Hershey tinkered with the flavor mash-up a bit, adding an extra wafer and some caramel into the mix. The reformulation didn’t help slagging sales; the candy was discontinued in 1997, though it still maintains a fan base of sweet-toothed admirers hoping for its comeback.

Retroland

2. GARBAGE CAN-DY

This sugar-coated ode to dumpster diving featured a tiny plastic garbage can filled with Pez-like candy pellets in the shape of items you might actually find in a garbage can (a dead fish, an old shoe, a dog bone, a discarded soda bottle). Fortunately, this novelty treat tasted much better. Multitasking types loved the fact that, once the candy was consumed, the toy trash can could be used for storing stuff like stickers, erasers and/or Garbage Pail Kids cards (perhaps not coincidentally, both Garbage Can-dy and Garbage Pail Kids were created by Art Spiegelman, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Maus, who worked in the product development department of The Topps Company at the time).

Candy Funhouse

3. CHICKEN DINNER BAR

First things first: there is not a piece of poultry to be found in The Chicken Dinner Bar. Introduced during the Depression era, the chocolate-covered nut roll’s name was a reference to Herbert Hoover’s prosperity-minded presidential campaign promise of “a chicken in every pot and a car in every garage.” Despite the candy’s unfortunate name (even the commercials made reference to a clucking chicken and the candy was delivered to stores in a chicken-shaped truck), the candy had some serious legs, remaining on shelves for nearly 40 years. Production ceased only when its original manufacturer, the Sperry Candy Company, was acquired by Pearson’s in 1962.

The Daily Meal

4. BONKERS

Bonkers—Nabisco’s chewable fruit candy with a gum-like outer shell and fruity inside—are proof of the power of advertising. Even if you don’t remember the artificial fruit flavor of the candy itself, it’s hard to forget the product’s popular commercial campaign, in which a group of strait-laced characters would be “bonked” into silliness by a giant piece of fruit from above. But when the commercial campaign slowed down, so did the candy’s sales, ultimately leading to a cease in production altogether. Yet there’s potentially good news on the horizon for fans of this treat as well, as Leaf Brands has struck again! In 2012, the company acquired Bonkers’ manufacturing rights and plans to have Bonkers back on the market by the end of 2014.


What do you think?