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Stories

Valerie Bertinelli Says She’s Reclaimed Her Life After Divorce

by Lauren Novak • Published February 16, 2023

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How Valerie Bertinelli got her life back after divorce
Everett Collection

Valerie Bertinelli is extremely happy to be divorced again. She recently finalized her divorce at the end of last year from her second husband Tom Vitale. The two wed in 2011 and has often hinted that Tom might be a narcissist. While she didn’t name him in the video, she did share some tips on healing from dealing with a narcissist.

She said, “Let’s quickly talk about the narcissist. Because it’s not about them. It’s about us. It’s about our healing. It’s about finding out who made us tolerate the intolerable. This journey, the gift that they gave us, I guess you could say, is that it opened our eyes to why we were letting ourselves be treated that way. So it doesn’t matter who the narcissist is. What matters is that you and I are on an amazing healing journey now, and a whole life has opened up for us because we will no longer tolerate that behavior.”

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Valerie Bertinelli opens up about life after divorce

CHOMPS, Valerie Bertinelli, 1979
CHOMPS, Valerie Bertinelli, 1979, (c) American International/courtesy Everett Collection

She added, “Yes, it’s challenging and, yes. it’s difficult, but this is where the healing comes in and they’re nothing. Just become indifferent to them. You don’t love ‘em, you don’t hate ‘em, you just don’t care. But you care about you. That’s the important thing because we matter. You matter.”

RELATED: Valerie Bertinelli Is Finally Divorced From Tom Vitale

TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL, Valerie Bertinelli, 1994-2003
TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL, Valerie Bertinelli, 1994-2003 / Everett Collection

After getting divorced, Valerie has been working on herself. In addition to healing from being with a narcissist, she recently gave up drinking alcohol for Dry January. She quickly realized that she lost weight due to not drinking and said she has been sleeping much better.

CAFE AMERICAIN, Valerie Bertinelli, (1993), 1993-1994
CAFE AMERICAIN, Valerie Bertinelli, (1993), 1993-1994. ph: Michel Boutefeu / ©NBC / courtesy Everett Collection

Even though she’s thriving now, it hasn’t always been easy. After her divorce, Valerlie revealed, “I think because that divorce was so wicked, and it’s really brought me to my knees, but I think of that as a gift because I get to learn so much about myself through this. I get to learn so much about my character. I get to learn so much about my healing. I get to talk to my inner child more, so this wicked part of my life is actually very healing for me. I get to choose every day whether I’m thankful and in gratitude or whether I just want to be b—– and just scream. And I choose to be grateful and be thankful because I also get to learn so much.”

As for now, Valerie added that she doesn’t see herself dating anytime soon and doesn’t plan on getting married again.

RELATED: Valerie Bertinelli Responds To Matthew Perry Saying They Made Out While She Was Married

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About Lauren Novak

Lauren Novak is a journalist who wrote more than 5,000 nostalgia and pop culture stories for DoYouRemember? as a Senior Staff Writer and Editor.

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