Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito explain their unusual yet happy separated marriage
Since 1982, Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman have been an iconic Hollywood power couple. There’s just one caveat—they’ve been separated since 2018. It’s an unorthodox relationship that, DeVito recently shared, is as strong as ever because of their peculiar arrangement.
79-year-old DeVito and 76-year-old Perlman first met in 1971 when Perlman went to see a friend perform in The Shrinking Bride, which also featured DeVito. Just two weeks later, they moved in together, years before their ‘82 marriage. Now, the parents of three are proving that distance does make the heart grow fonder.
On paper, Perlman and DeVito got married in 1982 and separated in 2017. Technically, that is accurate. But the wording there is important: separated. Not formally divorced. This isn’t even their first time splitting up; they separated back in October 2012 and by March 2013, they were together again. Then came the more permanent separation if 2017.
Through all this back and forth, Perlman and DeVito are still, legally speaking, married. But none of this on-and-off courtship and separation has put a lasting strain on the former couple.
“Danny and I, we are still married… and we are still very good friends,” Perlman said in a 2023 episode of on Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ podcast, Wiser Than Me, “and we see each other a lot. And our family is still the most important thing to both of us.”
DeVito confirmed this sentiment, sharing, “We participate in conversation daily. Lots and lots of talking and a lot of things together.”
Ultimately, Perlman revealed in that podcast interview, there were multiple motivations behind her split with DeVito. However, she was continually diplomatic with her wording, carefully saying, “I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, it was very difficult at first. And there were a lot of reasons that we separated. It took time for us to come to this, somehow, pretty decent understanding and relationship with each other.”
However, a mutual love for their children quickly proved a reliable uniting force.
“We have three beautiful children,” outlined DeVito, “and now we have a granddaughter who is a year old, and we have one on the way. So the family’s growing.”
Perlman and DeVito share Lucy, 41, Grace, 39, and Jacob, 36. Basking in the glow of family life, DeVito says “We’re doing great,” adding, “We’re sharing our granddaughter, our new granddaughter, and we see each other all the time.”
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